How the Jewish Disabilities Network Helped the Lazaroff Family

In honor of Jewish Disability Awareness Month, and in preparation for Jewish Disabilities Awareness Day on February 21st, we want to share a letter from Anna Lazaroff, a Jewish Disabilities Network (JDN) client’s mother, about her experiences with the JDN.

Our son, Andy, moved into an apartment of his own about two years ago. The idea of Andy moving out of our family home was difficult for all of us to imagine and to accept. I felt a need to explore a few different living arrangements that are options for developmentally disabled people before I could feel confident that living in an apartment of his own was the best choice for him. I also needed to feel that he would not be socially isolated, and that he would continue to see friends and participate in community activities.

Throughout this transition, the JDN staff members at SHALOM Denver encouraged us and helped us make progress toward the goal of more independent living for Andy. In the spring of 2005, Arnie and Sara from SHALOM Denver arranged a trip to visit a residential program for developmentally disabled and chronically mentally ill young adults run by Jewish Family Service in West Palm Beach, Florida. It proved to be a very informative and worthwhile visit. We learned a lot about the social/psychological aspects of creating community and about the finances of running a residential program.

The following spring, a JDN staff member invited me to be on a committee at Developmental Pathways to explore residential options. My work on this committee also helped our family become more comfortable with the idea of Andy living independently.

Sometime later at an IP (Individualized Plan) meeting with Developmental Pathways, Andy shared that he did not feel ready to live on his own. JDN staff suggested that Developmental Pathways provide a mentor to work with Andy on developing the skills Andy felt he needed in order to be ready to move out on his own, which also proved to be very helpful.

After Andy moved out, we expressed our desire to JDN staff to find a rooomate for him. They connected us with other clients who became good friends of Andy’s and could have made wonderful roommates. It was only then that I realized that Andy had been doing well on his own and actually did not need a roommate! As long as the possibility of a roommate was out of reach, I was stuck searching and couldn’t see the actual situation, which was that Andy was fine living alone.

Sara and Inna then helped us brainstorm about what would make Andy’s life go more smoothly and give him the skills to live successfully on his own once we are not able to provide the assistance we currently offer him. I am so impressed by, and grateful for, the high level of professionalism they brought to our meeting. They helped us define his needs and suggested that Andy work with a JFS care manager to learn to survey and comparatively price items when grocery shopping, develop and work within a budget, and prepare healthy, simple, and economical meals.

Judaism teaches the importance of living in community and not in isolation from fellow Jews. As a special needs family we know what it is like to be excluded. JDN continually offers opportunities for Andy to socialize and be part of a caring and fun-loving Jewish group. Recently Sara suggested that when Andy is free on a Friday night, he drop by the JFS Group Home for Shabbat dinner. We’re delighted! We feel the community provided by the JDN is especially important now that Andy no longer spends as much time with his parents. It will be even more critical once we have passed away.