Living With A Mental Illness: One Person's Perspective

Our last post for Mental Health Awareness Month was written by guest blogger, Evan Silverman, a JFS volunteer who was featured in Schizophrenia Digest.

My name is Evan Silverman. I am 34 years old, grew up in Denver, and have worked at the Tattered Cover BookStore for more than 11 years. When I interviewed for my position at the bookstore, they asked me to describe myself in three words and I answered “fun, fair, and honest.” I feel those words still fit me today. However, I wish life was that simple. After many years of battling depression, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after graduating college in 1996. Then my diagnosis changed to schizophrenia in 1999, which changed my life in many ways.

Along my journey of learning about my illness and how to cope with it, I have developed and been guided by some key ideas and experiences:

I believe that G-d exists and I rely on G-d for direction. I also think that G-d has given us free will which, among other things, means we have some control over time and money.

One positive way to use time is to cultivate love. This for me has occurred as a natural part of being an active member of a healthy community. Jewish Family Service fits in that category. I have found a wonderful volunteer opportunity through JFS. I am a cultural tutor for a young man from East Africa who receives Refugee Mental Health services from JFS. I meet with him weekly and take him on errands, help him with things he wants to learn such as how to write thank you notes, and basically fill in the holes with what others in his life can’t do. I am learning quite a bit, including how to be in the moment and focus on how I can help him. I feel better when I leave and it has been very interesting to learn about another country’s culture.

The Tattered Cover Bookstore, where I work, serves as a healthy community for me as well. Working there has taught me a lot of great lessons that apply not only to my job, but to life in general. I have learned great customer service, how to treat people the way they deserve to be treated, and the value of listening. I believe we are imperfect beings, but we can learn a lot if we listen, gain perspective, and live meaningful lives.

In addition, I recently joined the board of Mental Health America of Colorado and am enjoying serving the community in this meaningful way. In each group I am motivated as part of something bigger than myself rather than by fear or greed. I believe that when we make positive choices within a healthy community, we transform that community, and by extension we transform the world in general. This in turn further changes us.

Another positive use of time is to put yourself in a situation which allows you to be in the moment. Setting aside time to meditate is helpful for many people. Although it is impossible to be in the moment all the time, when one is in the moment with another person, you show respect.

Money is valuable as well. When we support a local charity we improve the community in which we live. The Jewish concept of tzedakah contains the idea that regardless of how little money one has, there is always at least a small amount that can be donated.

By cultivating love, playing an active role in healthy communities, living in the moment, using our assets wisely, and having a positive attitude, the chances are that one will move in a positive general direction over the course of one’s life. In addition, living in this way improves the biggest human community of all—mankind.

Some advice I have for others battling a mental illness:

• Educate yourself about your illness – go online and find out as much as possible.
  
• Find a community that works for you – that’s bigger than yourself – such as a church or synagogue or JFS. I believe that a healthy community values everyone for their uniqueness and there is a sufficient amount of love for everyone.


• Find someone you trust such as a sponsor or mentor and people to help you with your weaknesses, if necessary. For example, a woman comes to my apartment once/week to help me stay organized. I am also fortunate to have a caring network of support from Karis Community.


• Set manageable goals to improve your mental health.


• Find love – it is so powerful!

--Evan Silverman

Photo courtesy of Nathan Armes and Magpie Media, Inc.

JFS Executive Luncheon Raises More Than $150,0000

The JFS Executive Luncheon held earlier this month raised $153,000 for the agency’s programs and services, an accomplishment for a local nonprofit in the current economy. Featured speaker Frank Abagnale entertained and touched the hearts of 410 business and professional leaders at the DCPA Seawell Grand Ballroom. Many new faces and seasoned patrons came to hear Frank Abagnale’s story and show their support of JFS.

Abagnale recounted his incredible life story which was featured in the award-winning movie, “Catch Me If You Can,” starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Abagnale. Read more about the story he recounted at the Luncheon...

View more photos...

Save the date for next year's JFS Executive Luncheon on Tuesday, May 11, 2010!

Tips For Coping With A Family Member Who Has A Mental Illness

If one of your family members has been diagnosed with mental illness, then you and your family, no doubt, are experiencing a number of concerns, emotions, and questions about these disorders. In hearing that one of your family members has a mental illness, you may have experienced emotions such as shock, sadness, anxiety, confusion, etc. It is important to accept your feelings and seek out help to deal with them.

The diagnosis of mental illness is much like a physical diagnosis such as cancer, MS, etc. Therefore, some of the emotions that you may be experiencing are about loss and grief. There is no question that any major illness affects the whole family and changes the way everyone goes about their daily life. To deal with loss and grief issues is not an easy matter. There are, however, two major things to remember about the grieving process. Allow yourself to feel and accept the situation and let go. To do this you may need supportive counseling, good friends, or you may want to consider joining a support group.

Here are suggestions for dealing with your emotions and feelings:

1. Accept the illness and its difficult consequences. This is easier said than done; however, research suggests that families who deal most successfully with a mentally ill relative are those who can find a way to accept them fully.


2. Develop realistic expectations for the ill person and yourself. Do not expect to always feel happy and accept your right to have your feelings. Often families experience guilt and other emotions which they try to repress or pretend do not exist. Remember, adjusting to mental illness for you and your loved one takes time, patience, and a supportive environment. Also, recovery is slow sometimes. So it is best to support your loved one by praising him/her for small achievements. Try not to expect too much or that your mentally ill family member will return to their previous level of functioning too quickly. Some people can return to work or school, etc., quite quickly, and others may not be able to. Comparing your situation with others can be very frustrating, and we suggest that you keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for you or your loved one. This will help to reduce frustration.


3. Accept all the help and support you can get.


4. Develop a positive attitude and even better, keep a sense of humor.


5. Join a support group.


6. Take care of yourself - seek out counseling and support.


7. Do healthy activities like hobbies, recreation, vacations, etc.


8. Eat right, exercise, and stay healthy.


9. Stay optimistic.

The JFS Counseling Center offers an ongoing support group for families who have a spouse, child, or family member with serious and persistent mental illness called Strength Through Sharing. This support group meets twice a month at JFS. If you would like to register for this support group, please contact Marcia Vaziri at (303) 597.7777 x307.

Adapted from http://www.spcsb.org/articles/mental_illness.html.

JFS Recognized As One Of Top 25 Most Influential Jewish Organizations on Twitter

With its recent rise in popularity, especially among celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Ashton Kutcher, Lance Armstrong, and many others, you may have heard of Twitter, but may not understand what it is.

According to Tweeternet.com, Twitter is a social networking and microblogging service that allows you answer the question, "What are you doing?" by sending short text messages 140 characters in length, called "tweets," to your friends, or "followers."

JFS has a Twitter account, JFS_Colo, which is updated several times per week about upcoming JFS programs and events. We also use Twitter as a way to have conversations by replying to followers who ask questions or make comments relevant to JFS. We post and "retweet" interesting articles, facts, or statistics as well. We have also incorporated Twitter into our blog, so visitors can see our stream of tweets.

We were recently recognized by JTA as one of the top 25 most influential Jewish organizations among hundreds of Twitter accounts tweeting content of Jewish and/or Israel-related interest. We are proud to be the only organization chosen from Colorado honored with this award.

If you are on Twitter, please follow JFS_Colo. We definitely want to use this vehicle to have two-way communication with our friends and supporters and to help us build an online community.

--Alaina Green and Kari Alpen, JFS Marketing Department

Cyberbullying: What Is It, How It Works, and How To Understand And Deal With It

Bullying is not just a schoolyard phenomenon anymore. The school bully can harass your child in, and from, the comfort of home. When this happens, your child becomes the victim of cyberbullying; sending or posting harmful or cruel text and/or images using the internet or other digital communication devices. Experts offer the following pointers for parents:

• Tell your child you want to know if they are being cyberbullied. Reassure them that they won't lose computer or online access
• Stress that they should not respond to the bully
• Always print out and save cyberbullying messages
• Teach your child never to post he/she wouldn't want others to read
• Have your child change his/her screen name and give it only to those he/she trusts
• If the bully attends your child's school, show the printouts to school officials and work to resolve the conflict
• If threats are made, call the police and your internet service provider so that they can investigate and can cancel the bully's account

If your child is being cyberbullied and needs help, feel free to contact the JFS Counseling Center. The Counseling Center offers services on a sliding-fee scale and accepts most insurance plans, Medicare, and Medicaid.

--Kari Alpen and Alaina Green, JFS Marketing Department

Adapted from Screening for Mental Health, Inc.
Photo from http://www.ua.edu/

Parents Should Talk to Teens About Suicide

Did you know that suicide is the third leading cause of death for 10-19 year-olds in the United States? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 60 percent of high school students said they had thought about killing themselves and about 9 percent said they had tried at least once.

These are shocking statistics, but it is also known that most youth who die by suicide suffer from a mental or substance use disorder. It is important to look for signs and get professional help for your child. Besides substance abuse and mental illness, other risk factors include:

• Previous suicide attempts
• A family history of suicide
• Easy access to lethal methods, such as guns or pills
• Incarceration
• A stressful life event or loss
• Exposure to suicidal behavior in others

Suicide can occur in clusters, sometimes as a ripple effect of the suicide of a friend or celebrity that receives widespread media coverage. Below are some signs of suicide to watch for in your child:

• Complains of being a bad person or feeling "rotten inside"
• Gives verbal hints such as "I won't be a problem for you much longer," "nothing matters," "it's no use," and "I won't see you again."
• Puts affairs in order, for example, gives away favorite toys, cleans room, and throws away important belongings
• Becomes suddenly cheerfull after a period of depression
• Shows signs of psychosis (hallucinations or bizzare thoughts)
• Shows little interest in the future
• Acts in rash, hostile ways; often expresses rage

If you recognize any of these symptoms, ask your child if he or she is depressed or thinking about suicide. Asking reassures that he/she is not alone. Don't leave him/her alone. If you think your child has a mental illness or substance abuse problem, get him/her the help that he/she needs even if he/she resists. Most important, take any suicide attempt seriously.

If your child or someone you know is thinking about suicide, contact the JFS Counseling Center for help. If someone is in immediate danger, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or 911.

--Alaina Green and Kari Alpen, JFS Marketing Department

Adapted from American Academy of Pediatrics and Screening for Mental Health, Inc.

Photo from http://www.depressiontreatmenthelp.org/

Start the Healing Process with Spiritual Counseling

When you aren’t feeling well physically, help from your physician is just a phone call away. However, the path to healing spiritually isn’t always as clear. The truth is, healing emotionally is just like healing physically — you can’t do it alone.

The Rafael Spiritual Healing Center provides spiritual and psychological support for people dealing with death, grief, chronic illness, or profound life changes. We have a team of psychological and spiritual professionals who facilitate the following programs and support groups:

Group and individual spiritual counseling

Educational programs on healing and spirituality

Ongoing support groups throughout the year

A welcoming place with a network of resouces might be what you need to start the healing process. Bob Pailet, a client who attended our Spiritual Healing Bereavement Support Group, shares his experience below:

"My brother died in 2002 and my father passed away 18 months later. Though my sad feelings lessened some with time, I knew I would be better off if I had help in dealing with these losses.

I met several times with a counselor at JFS who was extremely helpful. She told me about the work being done at the Rafael Spiritual Healing Center and suggested I look into joining one of the groups.

A few years went by before I took her advice. The experience was very valuable. I found comfort from what I learned and from the sharing with other group members. The wonderful teachings of Rabbi Baskin and Arleen Gershen were outstanding. There was a great deal of support and compassion throughout the entire process. I looked forward to our meetings.

I strongly encourage anyone who has unresolved grief over the loss of a loved one to get involved with the Healing Center at JFS. You will have more peace in your life. It may seem difficult to join a group but a small leap of faith will get you there."

If you or someone you know is having trouble healing from death, grief, chronic illness, or a profound life change, the Rafael Spiritual Healing Center is offering an eight-week Spiritual Healing Bereavement Support Group that meets weekly from 4:30 to 6:00 p.m. The session began on Wednesday, May 6th, but registration remains open for one more week.

The Spiritual Healing Bereavement Support Group is co-facilitated by Cynthia Heller, MSC, director of the Healing Center, and Dee Trasen, LCSW, a JFS psychotherapist. The fee for attending the group is $10 per session. Participants are asked to make a commitment to attend all eight sessions.

If you have any questions about the Rafael Spiritual Healing Center or the Spiritual Healing Bereavement Support Group, feel free to contact Cynthia Heller at (303) 597-5000 x392.

--Kari Alpen and Alaina Green, JFS Marketing Department

Living Today for a Better Tomorrow

May is Older Americans Month and Older Coloradans Month. This year’s national theme is “Living Today For a Better Tomorrow,” and we all must work together to give older adults the tools they need to make healthy decisions.

Jewish Family Service (JFS) provides a variety of services through JFS Senior Solutions and JFS at Home to help older adults stay strong, well, and independent. Our experienced care managers provide consistent care, ease transitions, and create a vibrant support team for seniors and their families.

As we grow older, our lives may become more stressful and difficult. You may feel that you need someone to turn to, a trusted friend who can offer advice, resources, or just listen. While it may be difficult to admit if you have trouble with day-to-day tasks, turning to an expert can help you maintain the lifestyle you’re used to.

JFS geriatric care managers are skilled professionals who specialize in assisting older adults and those responsible for their care in addressing the challenges of late life. They offer advice and support needed to make compassionate and wise decisions, while at the same time, affirming your dignity and worth. JFS geriatric care managers can help:

• Provide comprehensive in-home assessments to identify needs and present a plan of care


• Coordinate and monitor services to ensure peace of mind for everyone involved


• Offer counseling and support to older adults and their families and serve as a liaison to families who live far away


• Evaluate and make recommendations for alternate living arrangements as needed


• Provide crisis intervention


• Provide advocacy throughout the health care system


• Give information and referrals that connect the older adult with community services


• Educate and counsel caregivers about their own self-care and priorities


• Review financial and legal issues that may impact the older adult’s situation

JFS geriatric care managers charge for care management services based on a sliding-fee scale. Many long-term care insurance policies are accepted for such services.

If you need in-home services such as companionship, light housekeeping and meal preparation, help with errands, and more, JFS at Home can provide practical, reliable, and compassionate caregiver services that allow you to remain at home, enjoying life and independence. Homecare services for seniors and those living with medical conditions are available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Homecare services are private-pay; most long-term care plans are accepted.

If you would like more information about JFS Senior Solutions or JFS at Home, please contact Cathy Grimm at (303) 597-5000 x 320.

--Alaina Green and Kari Alpen, JFS Marketing Department

How to Choose a Therapist

Is life going up in flames? Are you suffering through a nasty divorce, a devastating layoff, or even prolonged depression? Life's difficulties are hard to avoid, and we might get stuck in them and not see a way out. That's when getting help from a professional may be imperative.

But how do you go about finding the right help? Wisdom, life experience, and empathy are vital in a therapist. After all, he or she will have to teach you the skills you need to manage life. Here are some things to consider when searching for the right match:

Comfort Level
Check out the photo profiles of therapists in your area. Do you think you'll be comfortable discussing the secrets of your life with this person? Ask yourself if you'll be more comfortable with a male or female therapist. Or, if you need one who speaks another language.

The Right Stuff
Find a professional who has treated people with problems similar to those you face. Often a therapist focuses on specific issues such as eating disorders, sexual dysfunction, or mood disorders. And, of course, find out what treatment the therapist employs as well as his results. Sometimes a therapist works closely with particular populations such as adolescents, gay couples, or people of particular religious backgrounds. Be sure to learn your therapist's focus.

Location, Location
Proximity is actually very important. People make excuses when it comes to therapy: "I can't make my appointment today because it's too far..." Location should not become an obstacle. If there are no therapists in your zip code, try those in a town nearby.

Psych Basics
Ph.D., Psy.D., M.S.W.-don't fuss over credentials and degrees. What you really need is a therapist who will connect with you.

The Methods
Therapists have certain methods and orientations. Some use cognitive behavioral therapy, for example. A variety of methods are effective.

Make Contact
Contact two or three therapists. You will most likely get voicemail. Don't hang up; leave your name and number. On your first visit, ask yourself, "Do we click?" Do you feel a connection with your therapist? For you to reveal yourself, you will need to feel safe and at ease. The first session is normally free, so if you don't click, move on to the next one.

In The Pocket
When you do settle on a therapist, settle on a fee beforehand. You may also need to inquire about a sliding-scale arrangement-a flexible fee schedule adjusted to your needs or income. There's a confusing array of insurance arrangements-HMO's, MBHO's, private pay. But the first thing you need to do is check with your carrier.

Make a list of questions, including how many visits the insurer will pay for, does the carrier cover a percentage of cost only, the difference between providers who are in-network and out-of-network, and is primary care physician approval required.

After the carrier has answered all your queries, ask your therapist about coverage too. Bring up matters such as co-payment, how other patients handle insurance and payment, or whether your diagnosis will go on your record. Arm yourself with information, so you don't end up with surprises.

Additional Considerations

Are You Listening?
Does your therapist have good listening skills? Don't laugh, but you need to be sure she is attentive and hears what you have to say. That's why it's called talk therapy. Is she asking the right questions, is she asking enough of them?

Too Eager
A therapist shouldn't be too eager to please. Say you suffer from self-esteem problems, it does no good if the therapist does nothing more than flatter you. Instead, choose one who will challenge you. You will want one who is proactive and perhaps gives you assignments. She might ask you to read up on your issues or to conduct an experiment. The road to good mental health takes work. Ask the provider how long therapy should last. Don't accept a vague answer. If the person is experienced, he or she should have an idea of what you can expect.

-Adapted from Psychology Today

(Photo courtesy of http://www.snoopy.com/)

If you are seeking a therapist, please contact the JFS Counseling Center at (303) 597.7777. The Counseling Center offers services on a sliding-fee scale and accepts most insurance plans, Medicare, and Medicaid.

--Alaina Green and Kari Alpen, JFS Marketing Department

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

According to Mental Health America, more and more Americans are suffering due to increasing economic troubles piled on to the stress of work and family demands. In fact, 58 percent of Americans reported struggling in their lives at the end of 2008, according to the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. This represents an increase of more than 22 million Americans who reported struggling earlier in the year.

During these difficult times, the JFS Counseling Center is seeing an increased number of clients as well. Throughout the month of May, we will share some tips on various topics relating to mental health brought to you by our therapists.

Many people do not know when it is appropriate to seek professional help for symptoms relating to mental illnesses. Below are some common symptoms associated with depression, bipolar disorder, and psychoses:

Depression

• Persistent sadness or hopelessness
• Lethargy, fatigue
• Loss of interest in normal activities
• Irritability
• Sudden change in appetite
• Sleep disruption
• Difficulty thinking or concentrating
• Thoughts of suicide or death

Bipolar Disorder

• Restlessness, extremely high energy
• Racing thoughts, rapid talking
• Decreased need for sleep
• Euphoria
• Distractibility, agitation
• Grandiosity
• Increased sexual drive
• Uncharacteristically poor judgment
• Abuse of alcohol, drugs, and/or sleeping pills

Psychoses

• Delusions
• Hallucinations
• Disorganized speech
• Irritational or catatonic behavior
• Stupor, rigidity, or floppiness of limbs
• Social withdrawl
• Lack of drive or initiative
• Emotional unresponsiveness

If any of these symptoms sound familiar, there is confidential help for you or a loved one. Call the JFS Counseling Center at (303) 597.7777. The Counseling Center offers services on a sliding-fee scale and accepts most insurance plans, Medicare, and Medicaid.

--Kari Alpen and Alaina Green, JFS Marketing Department