If one of your family members has been diagnosed with mental illness, then you and your family, no doubt, are experiencing a number of concerns, emotions, and questions about these disorders. In hearing that one of your family members has a mental illness, you may have experienced emotions such as shock, sadness, anxiety, confusion, etc. It is important to accept your feelings and seek out help to deal with them.The diagnosis of mental illness is much like a physical diagnosis such as cancer, MS, etc. Therefore, some of the emotions that you may be experiencing are about loss and grief. There is no question that any major illness affects the whole family and changes the way everyone goes about their daily life. To deal with loss and grief issues is not an easy matter. There are, however, two major things to remember about the grieving process. Allow yourself to feel and accept the situation and let go. To do this you may need supportive counseling, good friends, or you may want to consider joining a support group.
Here are suggestions for dealing with your emotions and feelings:
- Accept the illness and its difficult consequences. This is easier said than done; however, research suggests that families who deal most successfully with a mentally ill relative are those who can find a way to accept them fully.
- Develop realistic expectations for the ill person and yourself. Do not expect to always feel happy and accept your right to have your feelings. Often families experience guilt and other emotions which they try to repress or pretend do not exist. Remember, adjusting to mental illness for you and your loved one takes time, patience, and a supportive environment. Also, recovery is slow sometimes. So it is best to support your loved one by praising him/her for small achievements. Try not to expect too much or that your mentally ill family member will return to their previous level of functioning too quickly. Some people can return to work or school, etc., quite quickly, and others may not be able to. Comparing your situation with others can be very frustrating, and we suggest that you keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for you or your loved one. This will help to reduce frustration.
- Accept all the help and support you can get.
- Develop a positive attitude and even better, keep a sense of humor.
- Join a support group.
- Take care of yourself - seek out counseling and support.
- Do healthy activities like hobbies, recreation, vacations, etc.
- Eat right, exercise, and stay healthy.
- Stay optimistic.
The JFS Counseling Center offers an ongoing support group for families who have a spouse, child, or family member with serious and persistent mental illness called Strength Through Sharing. This support group meets twice a month at JFS. If you would like to register for this support group, please contact Marcia Vaziri at (303) 597.7777 x307.
Adapted from http://www.spcsb.org/articles/mental_illness.html.
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